Meet Iain, 62, from Mackay Queensland. Iain has participated in The Push-Up Challenge since 2020 after experiencing the loss of both his great-nephew Ben, and his own daughter Ashley to suicide.
Having little faith in the system as it exists today, Iain hopes initiatives like The Push-Up Challenge can help to drive change, and to create a better, more supportive environment for young people in crisis.
Which charity did you choose to support and why?
In 2024, I supported headspace National as my charity of choice.
Why did you decide to sign up to The Push-Up Challenge in 2024?
I have done this every year since 2020. My great-nephew, Ben lost his battle with mental illness in 2017. Then we lost our daughter Ashley in 2021, also to mental illness. I think I will always do it until I can no longer manage.
If you are comfortable to share, have you experienced any mental health challenges in your own life?
It was hard enough with the loss of my great-nephew. Ben’s mother is virtually the same age as me, so we are more like siblings than uncle & niece. Ben’s loss was & still is devastating. At Ben’s funeral I could not imagine how it would be as a parent to suffer this. Little did I know that my wife & I would be that position just a few years later. Our lives as we knew them were over in an instant. Not just for us but Ashley’s sister Emma and our extended family as well.
How did going through mental health challenges impact your day-to-day life?
The question really should be “how does”, because I’m not sure it ever stops. The grief never ends.
What did you find to be most helpful in supporting you to manage your mental health and/or recovery?
Ashley was under the care of a mental health professional who, in our opinion, really dropped the ball. Ashley was 14 years old, and we were never told she had expressed suicidal thoughts. She was 14, we had a right to know. This experience has led me to have little faith in the way the system works currently, change is desperately needed. Support for us is in the form of each other, family & friends – people we can trust.
What would you say to someone who is considering taking part in The Push-Up Challenge in 2025?
You never know when it might be you or someone close to you that needs the help.
Why do you think it’s important that we push for better mental health in Australia right now?
If one life can be saved, one life changed for the better it’s worth it.
If you could share a final message of your own around mental health with our community, what would that be?
Those that do not suffer from mental illness can probably never truly understand. When Ashley was 12 years old, I could have never imagined the path that led to her taking her own life. I doubt that she would have either. Could we have done more? Could we have prevented her loss? I don’t know. What I do know is that if she had got through it, she would be living a wonderful life today. That hope, the possibility of brighter days ahead matters. Let’s do everything we can to keep that hope alive for others.
Lifeline is available 24 hours a day to listen, without judgement. If you or someone you know needs crisis support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, or text on 0477 13 11 14.
Read more lived experience stories from others who have been impacted by mental health challenges on our Stories page.
