Ethan Koh

I am weak

I'm attempting to do less than 3,214 push-ups in 23 days for the real goal of raising awareness and funds for mental health in Australia. No one knows this but I struggled with mental health in primary school and still do, if anyone is bored and attentive enough to see this then idk congrats. Mostly forgotten about that time but doesn't mean it hasn't changed me. Every dollar helps #pushforbetter mental health outcomes in Australia by funding much-needed mental health services and initiatives. If someone says they have depression or are suicidal, it's not a mistake that needs fixing. You cannot fix someone. You know why 75% of suicides are male? Because when a man speaks up they are treated differently - weak and broken, damaged and wrong. That's why I stayed silent. It's ok to be depressed, it's not ideal not easy, but ok. If people weren't told to be better, but to be accepted and just as they are. For some, depression is not a phase, at a young age it's a part of who I am. The ability to stop fighting it, to accept it, it brings peace and removes stress and worry - to find comfort in solitude. Being depressed isn't something to be put down, it's something that changed me and is apart of everyone who goes through it and lives to see the other side. Suicide is devastating because it robs them of every future version, I know it will be bad, but I know there is some good in there. Knowing suicide is an option provides comfort for some, finally being able to have control over at least 1 thing. Maybe the answer isn't telling someone to be better, its giving them control on who they want to be. The real help is not changing them, but changing who you are around them. Because they, people like me are  everywhere, statistically around 1 in 10 people need you to be a better person, not just for yourself but for them too. To show that there is not just bad. Therapy was mainly a change in mindset. No one else knew, so no one else changed, that's why therapy is hard because no matter how many filters you put on life the picture can still be filled with suffering. Change who you can be with not what those around you should be. At first you will feel alone, but don't reflect that onto yourself, if it's difficult to fit in it might seem easiest to just change into who they want you to be. But mental health is about you being happy with yourself, not others being happy with you - that is one thing you can control. 

I’m only worth like $50 but I get an award at $65 so I changed it(sorry Ms Lu).